I’ve always been a spiritual person. Even as a child, I believed that there was more around us than what one saw presently on earth. By spiritual, I don’t mean a “holy roller” or “fanatic,” ready to convert the next sinner. Spirituality meant being connected to feelings or cues around me and seeing beyond the literal.
The concept of spirituality has led me to the idea that there are angels or spirits among us who watch over us in our daily lives. I know many may think I am crazy, and this is understandable. Most people don’t take time to notice the small instances happening around us.
When I was pregnant with my son, I was only about a week away from delivering. Nine days before I gave birth, my grandma (really my husband’s grandma of whom I claimed) passed away suddenly. With preparations for the burial and everything else which accompanies an event such as this one, there were so many overwhelming feelings. Our loss, more plans and arrangements, time to grieve. During this week, I sort of lost track of the days and realized that on the morning of the funeral, I would later be packing a bag for the hospital to deliver my son the next morning.
I began to ponder this concept of life and death. Here I was going to deliver a son and the day before, we had just buried and said goodbye to a beautiful and dear soul who had so impacted our lives. How was it possible that from one day to the next we were experiencing a pain so great in losing our loved one, and the next, marveling in God’s beautiful creation in our son’s birth? I remember feeling an eerie strange feeling after his birth, as if I didn’t know what I should be feeling, grief or happiness? sorrow or joy? This was the feeling that lingered with me days and weeks after his birth which I didn’t understand. I knew I loved my son dearly, but the sudden loss of our grandma made this joy seem incomplete in some way.
As my son grew, I began to notice that when I read to him, he would stare at me in an unusual way. At first, I couldn’t figure it out, but then I realized the look. His eyes would focus in a certain fashion and it was then that I knew. The look was the same stare which my grandmother gave me when we had our conversations.
Grandma loved to read. As we drank coffee together, I could talk to her for hours on books and literature, so the connection soon made sense as I began to notice this pattern. Something in her spirit was still lingering here around our newly born son as though she wanted to watch over us for awhile. I felt like she still wanted a little piece of time with us on earth.
There were other instances when my son gave me grandma’s look; it was enough to give me the chills as I thought of her spirit still with us. I know it was her and I could feel her presence with us in some way.
After about a year and a half, that same look disappeared. In time, I figured it was her way of crossing back into the world she was now part of, the spiritual world of heaven.
There have been other instances in my life when the presence of spirit has been very real. Skeptics will say that these ideas of angels and spirituality are nonsense, or a figment of one’s imagination.
I say that if you pay close attention to your surroundings, you might just find a small piece of heaven lingering around you, asking you to take note of how precious your time is on earth.